Breaking the Rules

The NHL's back but it'll never be the same again. Some new rules:

1. No ties - five minute overtime and then a shootout instead
2. Like international leagues, two line passes are allowed (no red line)
3. Goalie equipment is finally shrinking by more than 10 per cent
4. Offensive zones are gettin' bigger - blue lines are movin' back two feet
5. If you start a fight in the last five minutes of the game, you're suspended for the next game

Go Leafs Go!

The LCBO may go on strike for the first time ever on July 28. That's if the 5,400 employees follow union advice and reject a contract offer on July 22. Why should they vote no? Because a yes vote, say union reps, would allow the Liberals to privatize liquor stores, while voting no will keep the LCBO in public hands. But Finance Minister Greg Sorbara has already refused recommendations to allow grocery stores to compete with the LCBO and The Beer Store. And I like his call. If we go private, we'll be going down a slippery slope of Americanization. First we'll be able to buy liquor at gas stations, but what's next? The death penalty for marijuana possession?

I Heart Jesse James

Jesse James married Sandra Bullock this weekend. Why I care I do not know. It's funny how we feel celebrities are our friends, isn't it? When I heard the news I reacted immediately with a great big WTF. Jesse James is the coolest dude around, and Sandra Bullock is, well, a dweeb. Sure, she's hot in that girl-next-door kind of way, but how did she hook my favourite bike-building heart-breaker? The man behind West Coast Choppers and Monster Garage is married to the girl from Speed and 28 Days? The man with "Pay up Sucker" tattooed on his hand and a $100 bill tattooed on his back is going to spend the rest of his life with Miss Congeniality? Bullock's got bullocks on him.

Conspiracy theories are my favourite

Listen to this. (From a BBC Radio 5 interview with Peter Power, managing director of Visor Consultants.) CBC, CFRB, BBC and Al Jazeera are reporting that Visor Consultants, a crisis-management firm, ran a drill exercise for an unnamed company on July 7 at 9:30 a.m. The firm created a simulation in which the London underground was bombed. The freaky part? They bombed the exact same stations at the exact same times as they occurred in real life. Not just kinda the same. They bombed the exact locations simultaneously! If you recall, the same thing happened on September 11 when the CIA conducted drills of planes crashing into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon at exactly 8:30 a.m. I'm scared.

The Drive-in

I went to the drive-in at the Docks on Saturday night. I can't believe what a hot-spot it is. The place was absolutely packed! Birthday parties in BMWs, couples necking in convertibles, boys drinking beer in beaters. We came prepared. We backed our SUV into the perfect spot, put down the seats, lined the back with blankets, and opened up the trunk. We're brilliant, we thought. So were about 50 others.

The movie was corny and predictable. The Longest Yard. Adam Sandler, ex-pro football player, goes to jail and starts a team. The players beat the guards. The end. Haven't seen the original but it couldn't be much worse. But it didn't matter. We had such a good time. Why watching a movie in the back of a car is so much more fun than on a couch at home I'll never know. But I can assure you it is.

The last time we went to a drive-in was in high school with our old friends, and new couple, Dalia and Josh. Now Dalia is married to Shlomie and Josh is married to Yael. In fact, in my eight-year relationship with Dov I've seen friends hooking up, breaking up, getting engaged, getting married, getting divorced. I'm only 25 and I've seen it over and over again. You don't know how much pressure I get at those things. At every engagement party (went to three last week), every bridal shower (two last month), every wedding (four this summer), all I hear is one squeaky, annoying voice after another. "Soooo...when's YOUR big day?" I smile sweetly and back away.

Blogger tag!

Tag - I'm it! This is soooo much fun...

1. How many books do you own?

Probably about 150. Mostly philosophy books from my last life when I planned to be a guru atop a mountain. That all changed when, in my early-20s so long ago, I still had not figured out the meaning of life. They range from Plato to Augustine to Descartes to Chuang Tzu to The D'oh! of Homer. Plus lots of Shakespeare line my shelves beside some left-wing propaganda.

2. Most recent purchases?

The Great Shark Hunt, Hunter S. Thomson: Still not done. Way too long. Once you've read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, you've read 'em all.

Down To This, Shaughnessy Bishop-Stall: Been meaning to buy this book about Toronto's Tent City since it came out. I finally did last month after reading a Toro article in which Shaughnessy picks up the ladies. It reminded me how much I like his writing.

Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer: I haven't cracked it open yet but I hear it's funny and heartwarming all at once. I always like a good cry.

3. Currently reading?

America (The Book), Jon Stewart
va va voom yoga, Susannah Marriott
Toronto Life: Eat Cheap
Archie's Double Digest

4. Books that mean the most?

The Misfortunes of Virtue, Marquis de Sade: I read this book for the first time in high school when I thought that life was all sunshine and moonbeams (I suppose I still do). It took me by complete surprise. I couldn't believe that someone could actually think that compassion is a virtue of the weak. That people should be released from any and all social and moral constraints. That the good man is truly the evil man. It taught me that I am a naive little girl. But hey, I like it that way.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig: Life is not a box of chocolates. It's a deafening Harley. Or a fire-red Ninja. Or a beat-up Honda. When you're working on your bike, you're working on yourself.

The World According to Garp, John Irving: Although I've read most of his other books, I don't particularly like them. But Garp has something no other does - real imagination. That Irving guy really knows how to make up a story. Ellen Jamesians? Who ever heard of such a thing?

The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank: Like I said, I always like a good cry.

5. Who's next?

Foxymoron. Shul of Rock. Toronto Theater. It's your turn.