Idolatry at its finest

The red carpet makes me sick. "Oh you look so beautiful tonight. Who are you wearing? Your boobs are so big! Are you excited? Can I touch you? Please?" But Jon Stewart made the show. He was, as always, hilarious. Oscar results:

Best supporting actor: George Clooney - Syriana
Best supporting actress: Pregnant Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Biggest boobs: Dolly Parton (was there ever any doubt?)
Most ridiculous get-up: Ben Stiller in a green unitard
Most ridiculous dress: Charlize Theron's big black bow
Best outfit: Ludacris in black velvet
Best feature documentary: March of the Penguins (loved that tear-jerker)
Most bored attendee: Lindsay Lohan
Most beautiful nominee: Michelle Williams (Dawson's Creek's Jen)
Most thank yous: The academy
Most anorexic presenter: Hilary Swank
Best actor in a leading role: Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Best actress in a leading role: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Best adapted screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best screenplay: Crash
Best director: Brokeback Mountain
Best picture: Crash (the only one I saw, and liked)
Best screw-up: The 15-second blackout at the end of the show
Best honourable mention: George Jonas as writer of Vengeance, the book on which Spielberg's Munich was inspired