Idolatry at its finest

The red carpet makes me sick. "Oh you look so beautiful tonight. Who are you wearing? Your boobs are so big! Are you excited? Can I touch you? Please?" But Jon Stewart made the show. He was, as always, hilarious. Oscar results:

Best supporting actor: George Clooney - Syriana
Best supporting actress: Pregnant Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Biggest boobs: Dolly Parton (was there ever any doubt?)
Most ridiculous get-up: Ben Stiller in a green unitard
Most ridiculous dress: Charlize Theron's big black bow
Best outfit: Ludacris in black velvet
Best feature documentary: March of the Penguins (loved that tear-jerker)
Most bored attendee: Lindsay Lohan
Most beautiful nominee: Michelle Williams (Dawson's Creek's Jen)
Most thank yous: The academy
Most anorexic presenter: Hilary Swank
Best actor in a leading role: Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Best actress in a leading role: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Best adapted screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best screenplay: Crash
Best director: Brokeback Mountain
Best picture: Crash (the only one I saw, and liked)
Best screw-up: The 15-second blackout at the end of the show
Best honourable mention: George Jonas as writer of Vengeance, the book on which Spielberg's Munich was inspired

OH CANADA

Final Torino Medal Standings:

Germany 29
USA 25
Canada 24
Austria 23
Russia 22

The Olympic committee ranks countries based on overall gold medals, not total medals, placing Canada in fifth with seven golds, ten silvers and seven bronzes. My heroes.